Toolshed Returns
by Walter Bryan Cranston White
Summary: Toolshed returns after a very long absence to stop Mexican Joker from fucking up his home town.


We open to Call Girl and Human Kite chasing after a Mexican Joker goon.

Call Girl: Get your ass back here!

The goon runs past the Bijou theatre and throws a random trash can lid at the duo.

Human Kite catches the lid and throws it to the ground.

Human Kite: Is there a chance you can use phone destroyer?

Call Girl: I can't. He doesn't have a phone on him.

Human Kite: Shit!

They continue to chase the goon.

The goon ran down an alleyway and the two heroes soon followed.

Human Kite: Stop right there!

The Goon was stopped by a dead end.

Call Girl: It's over. You're coming with us.

Suddenly the goon throws a gas grenade at the heroes.

The grenade exploded and it caused the two heroes to cough wildly.

Human Kite: Shit.

Call Girl: He's probably got a-

Suddenly they heard the sound of punching and kicking.

Human Kite: Oh good *cough* the cavalry's arrived.

Call Girl: I thought most of *cough* them might've been too busy trying to get rid of the *cough* Asian culture.

Suddenly they heard the sound of a nail gun being set off.

Human Kite: Wait. That's a nail gun.

Soon the smoke cleared and it is revealed to them that the goon was knocked to the ground.

Call Girl and Human Kite checked the unconscious goon.

Human Kite: He seems ok.

The two notice that the goon had a few cuts and bruises on his face and he was breathing.

Call Girl: He's breathing, good.

They investigated the unconscious body further and they notice something in his hand, it was a nail.

Human Kite: Holy shit.

Suddenly they notice a familiar silhouette on the wall near them.

They looked up on the roof and saw nobody.

Human Kite: You don't think?

Human Kite and Call Girl stared at each other in confusion.

We pan up to the roof where we see a silhouette of somebody that looked like Toolshed.

The Freedom Pals Base.

The Freedom Pals were having a meeting.

The Coon: And that is why we need to take action now!

Mosquito: It's gonna be risky Eric. I mean, you might get a lot of flak from everyone.

Fast Pass: Y-y-yes. Eric's right.

Doctor Timothy: _No! We will not get rid of every Asian person in South Park just because you're scared of the coronavirus. And besides no one has it._

Mysterion: Exactly. Every plan Coon makes is either stupid or racist.

Mysterion coughed.

The Coon screamed and threw his mug at Mysterion's head.

Mysterion: Ow! What the fuck?!

Mysterion started rubbing his head with his hand.

The Coon: You coughed!

Human Kite and Call Girl entered the base.

Doctor Timothy: _Kyle, Wendy you're just in time for our announcements._

Call Girl: Great, because we have something that might intrigue you guys.

Human Kite and Call Girl took their seats.

Doctor Timothy: _Alright, lets say "Hi" to our new member. Also our third female in the group. Freedom Pals right next to Captain Diabetes is our new member Sergeant Diabetes AKA Sophie Gray._

Sophie was dressed in a superhero suit that had a pink cape, a purple mask, pink boots and in the centre there were the initials of "STD".

Tupperware: What does the "T" stand for?

Sergeant Diabetes: Well some dick decided to plaster that on.

Sergeant Diabetes glares at The Coon and The Coon chuckled.

Doctor Timothy: _Yes, that is funny Coon. Speaking of Coon, he attacked a Chinese boy today because he thinks that all Asians carry the Coronavirus._

The Coon: They do!

Super Craig: Not all of them you fucking idiot!

Wonder Tweek: AAAHHH! Does that mean I have to not go into class?! What if Mrs Nelson has the Coronavirus dude?! Or the City Wok guy?!

Mr Kim enters the basement carrying some bags of Chinese food.

Mr Kim: Hey the Shitty Wok guy has name. Anyway I have delivery for Fweedom Pals.

Doctor Timothy: _Yeah, that's us._

Mr Kim places the food on the table.

Wonder Tweek: What about the Yaoi girls?! Or Kevin Stoley?! Wait is he Asian?! AAAAAAAHHHHHH?!

Doctor Timothy: _Stop panicking Tweek and save it for another story, Coon._

The Coon: Fine.

The team started to eat their meals, but The Coon took some chow mein.

Doctor Timothy: _What was this thing you wanted to tell us Call Girl?_

Call Girl: Timmy, me and Kyle were patrolling until we came across a Mexican Joker goon and it tried to stall us by throwing a gas grenade. But when the smoke cleared he was beaten up.

Mysterion: Maybe he did it himself. He probably walked into a wall causing himself to be unintentionally injured. You know how goons are.

Human Kite: But when me and Call Girl inspected the goon further we found a nail in his hand.

Mysterion: Again, he probably did it himself.

Call Girl: But here's the thing, we heard a nail gun go off.

Mosquito: Bzz, what are you trying to get at?

Call Girl: I think Stan's out of retirement.

Everyone stopped eating their food and stared at the two in shock.

Mysterion: Stan's back?

Tupperware: But I thought he retired.

Human Kite: But I think he has come out.

The Coon: Well if he wants back in than it's gonna take a lot to get back in since a certain STD has taken his place.

The Coon laughed.

Sergeant Diabetes: Up yours dick.

Doctor Timothy: _Well if he is back than I don't know what to suggest. I mean look at the table, there's no room for another seat. Anyway, Captain Diabetes I need you to take Sergeant Diabetes out on her first night. I need you two to patrol South Park._

Captain Diabetes: You can count on us. Right after our Chinese.

They continue eating their Chinese.

Later.

Captain Diabetes and Sergeant Diabetes were patrolling South Park.

Sergeant Diabetes: Scott, can you explain to me why your friend Stan left the Freedom Pals?

Captain Diabetes: Ok. He left the Freedom Pals because he stabbed Call Girl. It wasn't his fault really, he was being influenced by the Snyder cut. Yes they went after the Snyder cut at one point. We usually go on crazy adventures. One thing I sometimes find interesting about my home town is when it comes to something simple, it turns into a crazy adventure.

Sergeant Diabetes: Jeez. What crazy sh-

Suddenly a water balloon hit Sergeant Diabetes.

And it was by a Chaos Kid.

Chaos Kid: Chaos rules!

Captain Diabetes: Those stupid sons of bitches!

The couple started to make chase to the Chaos Kid.

The Chaos Kid was laughing as he was being chased.

Captain Diabetes: Stop!

The Chaos Kid ran into an alleyway and the couple soon followed.

The Chaos Kid climes over a fence and flips the two off.

Captain Diabetes and Sergeant Diabetes were climbing the fence until Sergeant Diabetes stopped halfway because she noticed a silhouette of a boy.

Sergeant Diabetes: What the fuck?

Captain Diabetes stopped climbing.

Captain Diabetes: What?

Sergeant Diabetes: I saw something.

Captain Diabetes looked over the fence and saw a silhouette of a boy running.

Lighting flashed in the dark and it is revealed it's Toolshed.

Captain Diabetes grinned.

Captain Diabetes and Sergeant Diabetes made it over the fence.

Sergeant Diabetes was about to go after the Chaos Kid but was stopped when Captain Diabetes puts his hand right in front of her.

Sergeant Diabetes: What the fuck are you doing?

Captain Diabetes: Just stop.

Sergeant Diabetes: Why?

Captain Diabetes: Watch. You're in for a show.

The two watched on as Toolshed fired a nail from his nail gun to the Chaos Kid's foot and it caused him to trip.

The Chaos Kid was bleeding from his foot.

Chaos Kid: I'm fucking bleeding man!

Toolshed: But that bleeding can stop with a simple band aid. Now...

Toolshed pulls a drill out of his pocket.

Toolshed presses the drill against the Chaos Kid's head.

Toolshed: I know you aren't a Chaos Kid. Because Chaos Kid's don't wear grey shirts. You're a soldier of Mexican Joker. Now, where is he?

The Goon started tearing up.

Goon: I don't know where he is! I don't know where he is! But last time I saw him, he was eating at Freeman's tacos. He might be hiding there. Please let me go!

Toolshed: Of course.

Toolshed punches the goon causing him to be knocked out.

Sergeant Diabetes and Captain Diabetes ran up to Toolshed.

Sergeant Diabetes: What the fuck did you just do?! You just hurt that boy.

Toolshed: He's still breathing, he'll live. The bleeding isn't severe. He'll be fine. But he needs a band aid and that nail needs to be removed.

Sergeant Diabetes: I'm still taking you in for-

Captain Diabetes: Sophie don't. Nice having you back Stan.

Toolshed: Toolshed's coming back for one last ride. I'm gonna find Mexican Joker and hand him in. And I don't want anyone stopping me. I'm going to Freeman's tacos tonight. And you two better not stop me.

Toolshed uses his measuring tape as a grappling hook to escape the crime scene.

Sergeant Diabetes: Was that-

Captain Diabetes: Yes Sophie. That was Toolshed.

Captain Diabetes uses glucose metre to measure his sugar and it explodes.

Captain Diabetes: I guess it's because of too much excitement.

The next day.

Testaburger residence.

Wendy was watching the news.

Tom Pusslicker: _In other news, the owner of City Wok Tuong Lu Kim was pronounced missing last night. The owner of City Wok was last seen delivering some food to the Whites residence. When the Whites were questioned about the disappearance Robert White said "You're accusing us of kidnapping of a minority?! You're blaming us because we're Whites and we support our President"._

Wendy's phone started ringing.

Wendy answered it.

Wendy: Hello?

Heidi: Wendy. Stan's back.

Wendy: I think I was hallucinating. I know he still hasn't gotten over the pain of hurting me.

Heidi: He's come back. According to Sophie he's going to Freeman's Tacos tonight to find Mexican Joker.

Wendy: Ok. Thanks for letting me know Heidi.

Heidi: You're welcome. Anyway, have you seen Kevin Stoley today? I heard he was missing.

Wendy: I don't know anything about that at all.

Later at Freeman's Tacos.

Wendy enters the taco house where she comes across Morgan Freeman at the counter playing on his phone.

Morgan Freeman: Hello. Welcome to Freeman's tacos. How can I help?

Wendy: Hi, I'm looking for a boy.

Morgan Freeman: Aren't we all?

Wendy: No. I'm looking for a specific boy.

Morgan Freeman: Aren't we all?

Wendy: I'm looking for Stan Marsh.

Morgan Freeman: Aren't we all?

Wendy: What do you mean by that?

Morgan Freeman: What? Oh sorry, I was on my phone so I wasn't really paying attention. You're looking for a Stan?

Wendy: Yes.

Morgan Freeman: Well I don't know anything about any Stans but there is something that might interest you. When people enter the janitors closet, they seem to take their sweet ass time in there. Could be to have sex but every time I enter the closet, I smell nothing that says there was some kinky shit going on in there. They could've cleaned it up or used some air freshener, but I would've smelt the air freshener. The most common character who enters this closet seems to be some kid wearing some dried sunscreen on his face and dressed in all purple and looked like he paints his lips entirely in blood and also has blue lines going straight up both of his eyes, making it look like he's crying and he also has green hair dye. If you ask me, he's one massive Joker fan.

Wendy: Mexican Joker.

Morgan Freeman: It probably is him. I don't know or maybe he's a massive Joaquin Phoenix fan.

Wendy enters the janitor's closet and scans the area.

Wendy: There's gotta be a way to a secret-

Suddenly Wendy leaned into a wall and the wall opens to reveal a staircase.

Wendy: Does every business in South Park have a secret entrance?

Wendy starts to walk down the stairs.

When she reaches the bottom she finds a row of railings.

Wendy looks down from them and sees Mexican Joker and his army.

They were in a Gladiator style arena.

Mexican Joker looked like he was making a speech.

Mexican Joker (Speaking Spanish): Since most of my followers here aren't from my country and my translator was recently fired.

Mexican Joker points to a burning skeleton.

Mexican Joker (Speaking Spanish): I will have to do this speech in English. I spent some time learning your language.

Mexican Joker starts coughing.

Mexican Joker: Hi...hello. (Cough) My army, my name is Alejandro but you can call me Mexican Joker if you want. I'm here to wipe out the scum of this stupid town and I need you to help me do so. Because what I'm doing isn't for my country, I'm doing this because Robert White and Randy Marsh are scum and they don't deserve prison. Because if prison can't accept the two, than hopefully death and fear will. And once we're done with them, people over time will see me as a hero, not a villain! And if they apologise than I will not accept it and neither will you!

The goons cheer.

Wendy started to walk backwards.

Whilst walking backwards Wendy accidentally stood on a rat's tail.

The rat screamed.

Wendy was nervous thinking that they might've heard it.

Than she continued to walk backwards.

Than Wendy accidentally stood on a rubber duck.

The duck made a squeaking noise.

Wendy cringed thinking it would attract attention.

Once again Wendy started walking back again and this time she accidentally bumped into something.

Wendy turned around and it was just a column.

Wendy walked around the column and accidentally bumped into a goon.

But it wasn't just a goon, there was a whole army of them.

The goons held Wendy at gunpoint.

Wendy held her hands up.

Mexican Joker: Well, well, well. Think you can just run into my lair?

Wendy: Look Alejandro, I know what those two men did to you. But they will get what they deserve s-

Mexican Joker: Some day? They won't get away with it.

The goons and Wendy stood confused.

Wendy: Don't you mean "they will?"

Mexican Joker's sinister smile turned into a frown.

Mexican Joker: Uh, fuck you I'm still learning my English.

Wendy: And fuck you back.

Mexican Joker: Does anyone have a feeling I'm saying "lo siento" wrong? Because I don't feel like I am.

Wendy: I think you're getting your English wrong.

Mexican Joker: You know what? Some of you goons will fuck with me and help me understand English. And the rest will tame the girl.

The goons stood confused.

Goon: Don't you mean-

Mexican Joker: I think I do! Now cum me.

Goon: Ok, you seriously need to learn your English.

A few goons and Mexican Joker exit the secret lair.

The rest of the goons just shrugged it off and point their guns at Wendy.

Wendy places her hands on the back of her head.

Wendy: Stan, if you're here right now please help.

The goons laughed.

Random Goon: Look at this stupid bitch begging.

Other Goon: Right lets get this over with.

Wendy started to tear up thinking that Stan might not have time to save her.

Wendy closed her eyes preparing for the worst.

Suddenly there was a metal clanging sound and than there was an explosion and smoke filled the room.

Some Random Goon: What the-

There were sounds of punches and a nail gun being set off.

The goons were screaming.

There were some guns being set off, but more goons were being beaten left and right by a silhouette in the smoke.

After the last goon gets defeated with a nail gun to the leg, the fighting stopped.

Wendy opened her eyes and sees the smoke clear.

Wendy: What the fuck?

The smoke cleared and Toolshed was standing in front of Wendy, posing.

Toolshed: Missed me?

Wendy: Stan?

Toolshed: Yeah, I'm back.

Toolshed offered his hand to Wendy and he helped her up.

Wendy: But, why are you back?

Toolshed: I came back because of Mexican Joker.

Wendy: Because he ruined our date?

Toolshed: Not just that, but he's after me. He wants the farm and he wants the location.

Wendy: But I thought you hate the farm.

Toolshed: I do, but if he comes to the farm than my sister and Mom might get hurt and I don't want that to happen.

Wendy: Oh.

Toolshed approached a conscious Mexican Joker goon trying to crawl away.

Toolshed walked to the goon and turned him over with his foot.

Toolshed: Now, talk!

Goon: Fuck you!

Toolshed: Fuck me?

Toolshed laughed.

Toolshed: Ok.

Toolshed stood on his hand and started crushing it.

The goon screamed whilst Wendy watched on in horror.

Toolshed: Now, let's answer some questions. What is Mexican Joker planning?

Goon: I said fuck y-

Toolshed stood on the goon's hand harder than before.

Toolshed: Maybe me crushing your hand isn't working.

Toolshed pulls his nail gun out of his pocket and presses it on the goon's head.

Toolshed: Now, will you talk?

Wendy still stood in horror.

The goon screamed.

Goon: Ok! Ok! I'll talk. He's gonna hurt people. He's gonna hurt people if Robert White and Randy Marsh aren't bought to him.

Toolshed: And what will he do to them?

Goon: Are you dumb?! He's gonna kill them.

Toolshed: Despite them being monsters, they don't deserve death, they deserve prison. But prison is too stubborn to accept them and I think death is as well. Where is he?

Goon: He's hiding in a warehouse near the SoDoSoPa district.

Toolshed: Is there anything else you wanna tell me?

Goon: I fuck dead bodies for a living.

Toolshed knocks out the goon.

Wendy stares on in shock.

Toolshed did heavy breathing.

Toolshed: Sorry you had to see that.

Wendy: What the fuck?!

Toolshed: I know you're angry about it, but the scum of Mexican Joker deserve to feel the pain they want me to feel.

Wendy: But he looks severely hurt!

Toolshed: He'll live.

Wendy: Have you killed anyone so far?

Toolshed: I do not kill.

Wendy: But Stan, you've just hurt him and by the looks of it badly.

Toolshed: Again, goon. Deserved it.

Wendy: I don't know who you are anymore. You're not the Toolshed I know.

Toolshed: Sometimes Wendy, heroes change.

Toolshed throws a smoke bomb.

Wendy: Stan!

As soon as the smoke cleared, Toolshed was gone.

Wendy sighed.

Than Wendy saw the goon that mentioned he loved fucking dead bodies was humping an unconscious goon.

The goon stopped.

Goon: I have a serious problem.

The next day.

Freedom Pals base.

Doctor Timothy was having a superhero meeting with Super Craig, Mysterion, Coon Girl and Human Kite.

Doctor Timothy: _Freedom Pals, is there anything you want to discuss?_

Human Kite: Where is everyone?

Coon Girl: Maybe they retired. I mean this place is getting crowded.

Super Craig: Can we discuss why people of Asian culture are disappearing fast all over South Park?

Doctor Timothy: _It does seem pretty mysterious._

Mysterion: I kind of feel like we aren't trying to do anything. This is sounding too much like a teaser.

Call Girl enters the base.

Doctor Timothy: _Wendy, we could u-_

Call Girl: Yeah. About the missing people from Asian culture. Timmy, can we talk?

Doctor Timothy: _Of course. Into the therapy room._

Call Girl and Doctor Timothy enter the therapy room.

Doctor Timothy: _Now, what seems to be the problem?_

Call Girl: Toolshed's back.

Doctor Timothy was shocked.

Doctor Timothy: _He is?_

Call Girl: Yeah.

Doctor Timothy: _Yes! We're gonna be back on track._

Call Girl: That's the thing, he's back because he's looking for Mexican Joker but he's not the Toolshed I know.

Doctor Timothy: _What do you mean?_

Call Girl: He's become violent. He threatened to shoot a nail in a goon's head and he was crushing his hand. He says he's after Mexican Joker because he's scared that Shelly and his Mom might be hurt. I don't know what he's gonna do to him. Or if that rage will be the death of him.

Doctor Timothy: _If I'm correct Wendy, this is the phase where the hero goes violent when the loved one is threatened. It's a trope in superhero media to make the hero grow as a character._

Call Girl: So does it end?

Doctor Timothy: _Depending on what he might do to Mexican Joker, this violent rage will end once his goal is complete. Wendy this is important, I need you and Kyle to make sure Stan stays in control of his rage. And make sure he hands Mexican Joker in. In case he changes his mind and wants to kill him._

Call Girl: Alright Timmy, I'll keep an eye on him.

Doctor Timothy: _Good._

Call Girl: Can you get a psychic link with him?

Doctor Timothy: _I've tried and I got fuck all._

Call Girl: Oh.

Doctor Timothy: _But if he is back than we might have to cancel the Captain Diabetes and Sergeant Diabetes spin-off. And now I have to work on a new franchise plan! Can there be a day when heroes don't return to the Freedom Pals?! It's really hard work making a franchise plan!_

Later.

The warehouse near the old SoDoSoPa district.

Toolshed was outside the warehouse.

He had his back pressed right next to the door.

He knocked on the door and than the door opened on its own.

Toolshed was about to enter the warehouse until...

Human Kite: So you're back?

Toolshed turns around to see Human Kite and Call Girl.

Toolshed: What do you two want?

Call Girl: We thought you could use help.

Toolshed: Why do I need help? I can do things on my own.

Human Kite: No you can't. You need us.

Toolshed: I don't.

Human Kite: You do.

Toolshed: I don't.

Human Kite: You do dude.

Toolshed: I don't want either of you two to get hurt, that's why I can't let you join me on this mission (Toolshed turned around to face Human Kite and Call Girl) I-

But Human Kite and Call Girl were gone.

Call Girl: We didn't have time to listen to your monologue.

Toolshed turned around to see that Human Kite and Call Girl were already in the warehouse.

Toolshed: But...how? (Sigh) Never mind.

Toolshed enters the building and follows Human Kite and Call Girl.

They open the door right in front of them and they notice a TV.

There was a note on the TV and it said "Turn it on".

Human Kite grabs a nearby remote and was about to press a button until...

Toolshed: Don't.

Human Kite: Why?

Toolshed: We should be cautious about this. Mexican Joker could've set-

Human Kite: Too late, I've turned on the TV.

Toolshed: Dammit!

The TV turns on and it's Mexican Joker sleeping.

Toolshed, Human Kite and Call Girl stood confused.

Suddenly Mexican Joker woke up.

Mexican Joker: W-what? Oh shit! Sorry, I wasn't sleeping. For your information, this is a live video feed. And if you've seen Saw, you're gonna play a game. And I see Toolshed bought some enemies.

The trio stared at each other.

Human Kite: Don't you mean friends?

Mexican Joker: Friends? Oh shit! I'm still learning my English sorry. I have a game for you. There's two bombs in South Park. There's a bomb in city hall and there's a bomb in the warehouse and inside, are these three.

Mexican Joker shows two photos to the camera and they were Captain Diabetes and Sergeant Diabetes.

Toolshed: Where's number 3?

Mexican Joker: What do you mean? One, three.

The trio stare at Mexican Joker confused.

Mexican Joker: Hold on.

Mexican Joker pulls an English dictionary out of his pocket.

Mexican Joker: I have left the...two in a warehouse...where a bomb is set to explode in...220 seconds when I...push this detonator. The bomb for the town hall is located in the warehouse you're standing in and the bomb is located in the warehouse where Scott and Sophie are. That warehouse is near Whistlin' Willy's. Only one of you can rescue Scott and Sophie and that someone should be Toolshed. It's his fault they're in this mess. But if you three break those rules, than I will blow up your homes. Don't think I'm joking, because I didn't. I mean did! Did! Did!

The TV turns off.

The trio stood shocked.

Human Kite: Ok, here's the plan, Stan and Wendy you two-

Toolshed: No!

Human Kite: What?

Toolshed: It's my fault Scott and Sophie are in this mess, he's right. I'll rescue them.

Call Girl: Stan it isn't-

Toolshed: I will rescue them! Unless you two wanna break those rules. You two save the town hall, I'll save Scott and Sophie.

Human Kite: Good luck dude.

Toolshed: Same with you two.

Call Girl: And Stan, go easy on Mexican Joker. He may be a monster but monsters sometimes don't deserve beatings that put them into a pulp.

Toolshed: I'll try, for you.

Human Kite: So, will you rejoin the Free-

Suddenly Toolshed was gone.

Human Kite: How did he just disappear like that?

Outside the warehouse.

Toolshed was running as fast as he could.

He noticed a bicycle and took it.

Toolshed started to ride the bike as fast as he could.

The warehouse near whistlin' willy's.

Toolshed made it to the warehouse.

Toolshed enters the warehouse where he sees Capitain Diabetes and Sergeant Diabetes tied to chairs across from each other.

Toolshed: Scott, Sophie!

Suddenly Mexican Joker stood right next to the two.

Mexican Joker: Well shit Stan. You've done horrible.

Toolshed: But I've had 45 seconds left.

Mexican Joker: Huh? Hold on.

Mexican Joker pulls his English dictionary out of his pocket and started to read it again.

Mexican Joker: I meant well. I'm still learning. Now Toolshed, your next challenge is to decide which one of the two should die and which one of the two should dive.

Toolshed stood confused.

Captain Diabetes: It's live by the way.

Mexican Joker: It is? Fuck you.

Captain Diabetes: Hey! I only helped.

Mexican Joker: I know and I'm grateful so I'm saying fuck you.

Captain Diabetes: It's thank you.

Mexican Joker: Look I'm sorry. About me saying "fuck you" not the bomb part.

Captain Diabetes: It's ok.

Mexican Joker: Like I said, one must die and one must live. This bomb that is strapped to me will go off if you haven't decided in one minute. Decide. You have one minute.

Toolshed: I don't need a minute. I have a second.

Toolshed pulls his nail gun out of his pocket and shoots the detonator out of Mexican Joker's hand.

Toolshed tackles Mexican Joker to the floor and started to punch his face.

Toolshed removed the bomb strapped to Mexican Joker's body and discovered it required a password to deactivate it.

Toolshed: What the password?

Mexican Joker: See if you understand this. (Starts speaking Spanish).

Toolshed: One, two, three, four.

Mexican Joker: Shit!

Toolshed dialled in the password and the bomb stopped.

Suddenly Mexican Joker tackled Toolshed.

Mexican Joker was using his knife to try and stab Toolshed in the face.

But Toolshed grabbed both of his arms to try and prevent the knife from coming anywhere closer to him.

But the knife was coming in closer and closer to his face.

Suddenly Mexican Joker got knocked out.

And it was by Sergeant Diabetes.

Sergeant Diabetes: I've got you, you son of bitch.

Captain Diabetes was in shock.

Captain Diabetes: I...love you.

Toolshed was shocked as well.

Toolshed: Not bad for a rookie.

Captain Diabetes: Now can you help me out? Toolshed, you still have those screwdrivers don't you?

Suddenly Toolshed looked scared when Scott mentioned screwdriver.

The flashback showed him stabbing Call Girl in the shoulder with a screwdriver.

**(Read The Lord of The Cuts: The Return of the Director) .**

Toolshed: Scott you can mention anything, but never mention screwdriver! Or screwdrivers or anything involving screwdrivers! Bring that piece of shit to base.

Toolshed exited the warehouse.

Sergeant Diabetes and Captain Diabetes were shocked after hearing Toolshed say all that.

Sergeant Diabetes: Does he have a phobia of screwdrivers?

Later.

Freedom Pals base.

Doctor Timothy, Super Craig, Coon Girl, Mysterion and Captain Diabetes were all applauding Sergeant Diabetes.

Coon Girl: You go girl!

Doctor Timothy: _Way to go with capturing Mexican Joker._

But Toolshed wasn't celebrating he was sitting on his old seat brooding.

Super Craig: He seriously needs to stop with the brooding.

Coon Girl: Hey Stan, where's Wendy and Kyle?

Toolshed: I don't know. I called Wendy three times already and I haven't got anything. I've also tried Kyle five times and nothing.

Toolshed tried calling Wendy again.

Wendy (Voice): Hi this is Wendy, I can't take your call right now. Sorry, not sorry. Please leave a message after the tone.

Toolshed: Wendy, I'm getting concerned about where you and Kyle are right now. Please call me back. Look if it's because you don't want to talk to me, I'm sorry about you having to witness me beating up on that goon like that. Call me back ok? I love you.

Toolshed ends message.

Toolshed sighed.

The heroes were staring at the interrogation room where Mexican Joker was being held.

Super Craig: Can someone please explain why Token has an interrogation room in his basement?

Captain Diabetes: So, who's gonna do the interrogating?

Doctor Timothy: _We try good cop. Because if we beat on a person of Mexican culture and he plans to repo-_

Suddenly the lights of the interrogation room turned on and Toolshed slammed Mexican Joker's head on the table.

The Freedom Pals were shocked.

Super Craig: I preferred bad cop anyway.

In the interrogation room.

Toolshed sat on the chair across from Mexican Joker.

Mexican Joker: That really hurt. My ass feels fuzzy.

Toolshed: Don't you mean head?

Mexican Joker: Sorry, I'm still learning.

Toolshed: Talk.

Mexican Joker: About what?

Toolshed: I think you know what.

Mexican Joker: I think you gotta be a little specific about it.

Toolshed: I get you know I know where Tegridy Farms is and you wanna know, but why me?

Mexican Joker: Because your sister is violent and I don't feel like chasing after your mother.

Toolshed: But why can't you ask one of his customers?

Mexican Joker: Well they are loyal to him, they wouldn't talk even if I torture them. But you on the other hand, you hate the farm and you will do anything to make sure you leave. So why won't you tell me the location?

Toolshed: Because I'm scared you're gonna put my sister and Mom in danger.

Mexican Joker: And why would I?

Toolshed: You're dangerous.

Mexican Joker: Oh, am I?

Toolshed: Yes. You caused a rampage in South Park and now you want to kill my Dad.

Mexican Joker started laughing.

Toolshed: He's a monster but he doesn't deserve death. It i-

Mexican Joker: I don't wanna kill him. I just wanna murder him.

Toolshed: Same thing.

Mexican Joker: How is kill and mur-Oh. Hang on.

Mexican Joker pulls his English dictionary out of his pocket and he flips through a few pages.

Mexican Joker: Scare. I meant scare.

Toolshed: Scare him. Oh ok you can do that.

Mexican Joker: But after, I will kill Mr White.

Super Craig (Voice on PA system): Let him.

Toolshed: Why do you wanna kill Mr White?

Mexican Joker: He made me. I think he at least deserves a thank you.

Toolshed: I'm not letting you do those things.

Mexican Joker: But I'm gonna help you off the farm.

Toolshed: I don't need help from a terrorist like you.

Mexican Joker: Terrorist I am? Hmm, I don't consider myself a terrorist, I consider myself as someone who wants to have fuck.

Toolshed: You mean fun?

Mexican Joker: I think so. Yes fun. This is what I want Toolshed, I want to play games.

Toolshed: Do you think I wanna play games with you?

Mexican Joker: You will.

There was a few moments of silence.

Mexican Joker: Call Girl and Human Kite seem to be taking their times.

Toolshed glares at Mexican Joker realising what he means.

Toolshed: What did you do to them?

Mexican Joker: Nothing.

Toolshed knocks over the table and grabs Mexican Joker.

Toolshed: What did you do?!

Mexican Joker: I did nothing.

Toolshed throws him against the wall.

Outside.

Doctor Timothy: _He's going mad!_

Super Craig: No he's going bad cop.

Doctor Timothy: _Scott, Heidi stop him!_

Captain Diabetes: On it.

Inside the interrogation room.

Toolshed folds a chair and places it against the door handle.

Outside.

Coon Girl and Captain Diabetes were struggling to open the door.

Coon Girl: Shit!

Toolshed punched Mexican Joker in the face.

Toolshed: Where are they?!

Mexican Joker: You ever seen The Dark Knight?

Toolshed punched Mexican Joker again.

Toolshed: Where are they?!

Mexican Joker: Well they're both in two separate buildings that are set to blow.

Toolshed grabbed Mexican Joker.

Mexican Joker: And you have to choose which one to save. He's in the warehouse near the old SoDoSoPa District and she's in the rundown Washington Redskins building. You know the ones that told us to go fuck ourselves? You have 5 minutes.

Toolshed threw Mexican Joker at the wall.

Toolshed exited the interrogation room.

Captain Diabetes: We've heard everything. Craig and Heidi have gone to rescue Kyle, me, So-

Toolshed punches Captain Diabetes.

Toolshed: No I'll rescue Wendy.

Toolshed exited the base.

Captain Diabetes was holding onto his bloody nose.

Captain Diabetes: I was gonna say me, Timmy and Sophie were gonna guard Mexican Joker.

Later.

Toolshed is seen riding his bike trying to get to the location.

Meanwhile.

Inside the interrogation room.

Captain Diabetes was keeping guard of Mexican Joker.

Mexican Joker: I wanna make a phone call.

Captain Diabetes: No.

Mexican Joker: I want to make a phone call.

Captain Diabetes: You're not.

Mexican Joker just shrugged it off.

Mexican Joker notices Sergeant Diabetes staring at them through the window outside the room.

Mexican Joker: That's a pretty girl you got there.

Meanwhile.

Super Craig and Coon Girl were running to save Human Kite.

Coon Girl: Oh my God! I don't know what I can do if Kyle dies.

Super Craig: Find a new boyfriend.

Coon Girl glares at Super Craig.

Meanwhile.

Back in the interrogation room.

Mexican Joker: When I get out, do you wanna know what I'm going to do to your girlfriend? I'm gonna force feed her the favourite food she can't eat due to her diabetes.

Captain Diabetes starts to get angry.

Mexican Joker: And I'll only give her one shot of insulin.

Captain Diabetes: If you hurt her, I'll-

Mexican Joker: You'll what? Because after I'm done with her, I'll force feed you waffles.

Captain Diabetes stares at Sergeant Diabetes.

Sergeant Diabetes (Voice on PA system): Scott, he's trying to intentionally get you angry. Don't let him play with you sweetheart.

Meanwhile.

Toolshed made it to the old rundown Washington Redskins building.

Toolshed entered the building.

Back in the interrogation room.

Captain Diabetes was clenching his fists.

Mexican Joker: And when she's dead, I'll try my best to disguise it as a diabetic death.

Captain Diabetes grabs Mexican Joker, but Mexican Joker stabbed Captain Diabetes in the arm with a syringe of apple juice.

Outside.

Sergeant Diabetes: Scott!

Inside.

Sergeant Diabetes (Voice on PA system): What did you do to him?

Mexican Joker: I gave him a shot of apple juice.

Sergeant Diabetes was scared.

She ran to grab Scott some insulin.

The old Washington Redskins building.

Toolshed ran into a room to find Human Kite tied up instead of Call Girl.

Human Kite was tied up beside some gasoline tanks.

Human Kite: Stan!

Toolshed was surprised but he untied Human Kite and they ran out of the building.

Meanwhile.

The warehouse near the old SoDoSoPa district.

Super Craig and Coon Girl make it to the location, but the warehouse blew up.

Coon Girl and Super Craig were shocked.

Coon: No.

Coon Girl started crying.

Coon Girl (Crying): NO! NO! NO!

Meanwhile.

The old Washington Redskins building.

Toolshed and Human Kite see the explosion from a distance.

Human Kite: That was by the warehouse near the SoDoSoPa district. I'm sorry Stan, Wendy was in there.

Toolshed: No.

Toolshed started to tear up, but his eyes suddenly turn into anger.

Toolshed: To the Freedom Pals base.

The Freedom Pals base.

Toolshed and Human Kite ran into the lair to find Captain Diabetes, Sergeant Diabetes and Doctor Timothy tied up.

Human Kite: What happened?

Captain Diabetes: He...he escaped.

Human Kite: How?

Sergeant Diabetes: He managed to find a way to tap into Scott's rage.

Toolshed: Where did he go?

Captain Diabetes: He said he's gone to the old SoDoSoPa district and he's waiting for you.

Human Kite: It's probably a trap. Stan y-

But Toolshed was gone.

Human Kite: Stan?

In the Black's living room.

Coon Girl and Super Craig had just entered the mansion.

Coon Girl was still crying.

Coon Girl: Oh Stan, Kyle's-

Toolshed: Not dead he's in the basement.

Toolshed exited the mansion.

SoDoSoPa district.

Toolshed enters Savour The Goodness and goes upstairs to The Steed.

There he sees Mexican Joker sitting on a chair.

Mexican Joker: You came. Sorry I wasn't specific about the location.

Toolshed: I tried the other places anyway. Even Kenny's house.

Toolshed aims his nail gun at Mexican Joker.

Mexican Joker: Whoah! Whoah! Whoah! Whoah! No! That's not fair. I don't have a weapon to use against you. Can we be fair?

Toolshed: Why should I?

Mexican Joker: Because if you d-

Toolshed: Let me guess you'll blow up something.

Mexican Joker: Wow. Am I not predictable?

Toolshed: Not anymore.

Mexican Joker pulls an English dictionary out of his pocket.

Toolshed conceals his nail gun.

Mexican Joker: Here's how we're gonna play fair...we're gonna have to use sharp weapons.

Mexican Joker pulls a knife out of his pocket.

Mexican Joker: And since your artillery is tool based.

Mexican Joker throws Toolshed a screwdriver.

But Toolshed was refusing to pick it up.

Mexican Joker: What are you waiting for? Do you want people to die?

But Toolshed was still staring at the screwdriver with fear.

Mexican Joker than suddenly came to a realisation.

Mexican Joker: Oh! The weapon scares you. Who's afraid of a screwdriver? That's a bit pathetic.

Toolshed continued to stare at the screwdriver.

Mexican Joker: Fine!

Mexican Joker pulls a tranquilliser pistol out of his pocket and fires it at Toolshed.

Toolshed quickly fell to the ground.

Later.

Toolshed wakes up in an underground area tied to a chair.

Mexican Joker sat in front of him.

Mexican Joker: You know during the time you were knocked out, I managed to learn a bit of English. This is where you're gonna spend the rest of your days, unless you tell me where Tegridy Farms is. Because everyday that you don't, than something will blow up. If that's what you want Stan, than you're the worst hero.

Toolshed: But once you've scared my Dad, you'll kill Mr White.

Mexican Joker: And you want that monster to live?

Toolshed: No, I and the whole town just don't want to be guilt tripped to death by Mrs White.

Mexican Joker: Fair point. If you don't give me the location, than I'll blow something up. But I've already done that today so you're off the hook for now. But tomorrow, when you don't tell me where Tegridy Farms is than a building will blow up and the blood will be on your tools.

Toolshed: My town doesn't take kindly to terrorists like you.

Mexican Joker laughs.

Later.

Toolshed gets thrown into a cell by two Mexican Joker goons who looked like they were in their teenage years.

Goon 1: Enjoy your roommate.

Goon 2: Yeah. You're gonna do some fucking.

Goon 1: Dragon!

Dragon: What Walter?

Walter: They're 10 years old. Why do you think they'll be into the kinky shit?

Dragon: Because they love each other.

Walter: What kind of porn do you dream up?

Dragon: All kinds.

Walter: We need to discuss your quite messed up fantasies.

The two close the door.

Toolshed: Fuck you! And tell your boss the same!

Voice: Stan?

Toolshed's heart sank when he heard that voice.

Toolshed turns around to see Call Girl.

Toolshed: Wendy? Is this an illusion?

Call Girl walks up to Toolshed.

Call Girl: Does this feel like an illusion?

Suddenly Call Girl starts kissing Toolshed on the lips.

Toolshed returns the kiss.

They disconnect and Toolshed starts hugging Call Girl.

Toolshed (Crying): I thought you were dead.

Call Girl: What do you mean?

Toolshed (Crying): The warehouse you were trapped in, blew up.

Call Girl: Well I escaped, for three minutes. But some goons captured me later.

Toolshed stopped hugging Call Girl.

Call Girl: How did you get captured?

Toolshed: Well, I refused to fight Alejandro. He had a knife and he forced me to fight him with a screwdriver. But I couldn't.

Call Girl: Why?

Toolshed: Every time I pick up a screwdriver I get these brief flashbacks of me stabbing you. So I can't do it.

Call Girl: So, you're gonna get interrogated and you're not gonna reveal anything causing a lot of people to get blown up?

Toolshed: How-

Call Girl: I heard it.

Toolshed: I don't know.

Call Girl: Can you carry other stabbing equipment?

Toolshed: I don't know. I feel comfortable with knives, but not screwdrivers.

Call Girl: Toolshed, I have a plan.

Outside the cell.

Walter and Dragon are guarding the door.

Walter: She has a plan.

Dragon: Oh yeah, they gonna get busy.

Walter: No! What is wrong with you?!

Dragon: I'm into that shit.

Walter: You're weird.

Dragon: I know.

The next day.

Toolshed and Call Girl were sleeping whilst cuddling each other.

Toolshed and Call Girl woke up.

Toolshed: I hope it's morning.

Call Girl: You've remembered the plan?

Toolshed: Yes.

Walter and Dragon enter the cell.

Dragon: Did you two have sex?

Walter hits Dragon.

Walter: It's time Stan. Boss wants to see you. And he wants the girl as well, he has a better idea.

Dragon: He's gonna force them to have sex?

Call Girl: Is he ok?

Walter: He writes fan fiction about Simpsons characters having sex. It's messed up yet people say it's hot. Maybe he wasn't specific about the age of the characters, maybe that's why they think it's hot.

Later.

Walter was carrying Call Girl whilst Dragon was carrying Toolshed.

Dragon: You two are gonna do some fucking. I know you are.

Toolshed: Shut up about it.

Dragon: But I'm right. I'm definitely r-

Suddenly Toolshed stabs Dragon in the leg with a stone carved like a knife; causing Dragon to let go of Toolshed.

Walter: Dragon!

Call Girl frees herself and throws a phone at Walter's head causing him to be knocked out.

Toolshed: Come on.

Toolshed and Call Girl start running.

Dragon: Wait! Are you two gonna have celebratory sex?

Toolshed (Off-Screen): Fuck off weirdo!

Later.

Toolshed and Call Girl ran into Mexican Joker's office.

Mexican Joker: Stop them!

All of the goons point their guns at the two.

Voice: Phone Destroyer!

All of the goons were electrocuted.

Mexican Joker: Dammit! I told them no phones!

Mexican Joker pulls a gun out of his pocket.

Toolshed: Stop! Wanna fight fair.

Toolshed points his stone knife at Mexican Joker.

Mexican Joker thinks for a moment.

Mexican Joker: Fine.

Mexican Joker pulls his knife out of his pocket.

Toolshed: Stand back Wendy.

Toolshed and Mexican Joker stare at each other for a bit, before charging at each other.

Toolshed and Mexican Joker start clashing their weapons at one another.

Toolshed punches Mexican Joker and than Mexican Joker did the same to Toolshed.

Toolshed and Mexican Joker continue to clash their knives at one another.

They eventually battle their way into a room that has a deep dark pit.

Toolshed continue to clash their weapons at one another and than they make it to the edge of the pit.

Suddenly Mexican Joker stabs Toolshed in the shoulder and Toolshed falls to the floor.

Mexican Joker: Now, since you couldn't cooperate, I'm gonna have no choice but hurt your family and those you love. And all because you couldn't just tell me-

Suddenly Toolshed stabs Mexican Joker in the foot and than the leg causing Mexican Joker to fall backwards into the pit.

Toolshed gets up, starts to hold his shoulder wound and looks over the pit.

Toolshed: When do villains ever learn to not monologue?

Toolshed exits the room and walks to Call Girl.

Call Girl: Stan!

Toolshed: I'm ok, although I will need the hospital.

Call Girl wraps her arm around Toolshed's shoulder and the two start walking out of here.

Call Girl: Mexican Joker?

Toolshed: Fell down a pit. I don't know if he survived it.

Call Girl: Oh.

They continue to make their way out.

Call Girl: So Freedom Pals, are you thinking of coming back?

Toolshed: I haven't been thinking about it. I only came back as Toolshed to stop Mexican Joker, but maybe I should. Because I think The Freedom Pals still need me. They do right?

Call Girl: Of course they do. Although I do pray that the place won't become crowded.

Toolshed: Yeah.

They continue to walk.

Toolshed: Anyway, what happened to most of our residence of Asian culture?

Call Girl: That's probably a story for another time.


End file.
